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When we think about life as a sports investor and you ponder your existence, you come up with some of the burning questions of life. Are we alone? Who really shot JFK? When in the hell will the Kardashians just go away? But the real question I ask is Why god, why do you hate me?
I've always maintained that God doesn't have time to be involved in sporting matches but as of yesterday I've come to the conclusion that not only does he hate me, but he's taunting me on top if it just to spite me.
Why? I present you the evidence.
I am a Chicago native. I hate the Cubs. Yes I said it....I freely admit it and I'm certainly in the minority of Chicago folk but I hate, loathe, despise the Chicago Cubs. I'm a life long White Sox fan and for the past decade I could at least revel in the fact that my beloved White Sox won it all in 2005. That was 10 years ago. Hard to believe....but Houston, we have a problem.
I acknowledge that the White Sox have been a dumpster fire since that world series. I admit a LOT of jealousy when the Cubs went out and snatched the best GM in all of MLB. I said UH-OH the day Theo was hired because I knew he would build it the right way, from the ground up in the minor leagues. But still, the right way would mean YEARS of being god awful bad. The cubs have been god awful bad for the past few years. However, when you LOAD up your minor leagues with talent, and then bring in the BEST MANAGER in MLB to go with the BEST GM, now we have trouble because the Cubs are unfortunately ahead of schedule and good.
Maybe my prayers are too specific. Like when I said..."God, I know you've apparently decided to make Jake Arietta completely un hittable, but if you could find your way to let the Cubs loose and have St Louis throw an 81 pitch perfect game against them that would be great!" I don't just want to Cubs to lose but I prefer if they get completely embarrassed. So how did god answer my prayer? He lets ole Jake give up more runs in one game than his whole second half of the season practically but the MF ing Cubs won. Now with a 2-1 lead and apparently so young, dumb, and led by a great manager that their youth is not afraid of the moment......I fear that the Cubs will make it to the NLCS.
If they get there, that's big trouble. Because then it's my one prayer, every hour, vs the 30 billion prayers of all you sick bastard Cub fans who want the curse of the Billy Goat to be a thing of the past. I'm not ready for that. I mean what would the 35000 losers that don't have a job do at Wrigley during day games if they win it? Would they then actually know the score of the game? Would they all of a sudden pay attention? Or would they still just go there to sunbathe?
LEE ELIA SAID IT BEST! You're welcome everyone.
God, I don't want to be endowed with your powers, I mean we all saw what happened to Jim Carrey when he was god, I just want the Cubs to lose the next two games. Is that so much to ask? I'll even give up my dream of having them 81 pitch perfect gamed. Just a good ole fashion 10-0 loss would be great. If you can't find your way to do that and you're going to make me pay for every sin a million times over by having the Cubs be good, can you at least end these EURO games so we can get back to playing soccer already?
To your success,
Tod Wilkinson
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